Drinking/Using for All the Wrong Reasons

The first time we drank or used, there was probably some amount of social component.  Either we picked up because our friends were doing it, or we did it because it livened up the situation.  As we grow into our addiction, we begin drinking or using for all the wrong reasons.  It’s no longer a social activity.  This alcoholic got drunk for one of the following reasons:

• Relieve Stress
• Forget About Life
• Relieve Boredom
• Self-Loathing
• Fill A Gap

How about you?  What drives you to hit the pipe, stick a needle in your arm, or drown yourself in liquor?  Whatever the reason, if you’re reading this blog it’s probably not the right one (if that exists).  Send me your reason and I’ll post it to the blog.

Related Links:
http://island.org/ISLANDVIEWS/whyhigh.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_17032_7-species-that-get-high-more-than-we-do.html
http://www.lcg.org/cgi-bin/lcg/studytopics/lcg-st.cgi?category=Culture1&item=1116549335

Put Down the Ego and No One Gets Hurt

I just saw a great website called Be No Ego.  It’s dedicated to what the world would be like if we all just put down our egos and developed a little more compassion.  For instance, in a world without ego there would be no “toes to step on, feelings to hurt, fair shares to grab, territory to defend, etc.”
While we’re active in our addiction, our egos come into play plenty.  We build resentments against others who we feel have disrespected us because we have damaged our lives and relationships so much the only thing we have left is our ego.  This sad state causes us to continue getting high because that’s the only time we feel good about ourselves.  So, people and relationships continue to take a back seat, including those we love dearest, and our lives continue to get worse faster than we can lower our standards.
With no ego we become “humble, teachable (close your mouth and open your ears), appreciative of others, and more relaxed.”  Through this we learn to live life on lifes terms.  In fact the theory of “no ego” has been around for quite some time.  It is one of the most basic philosphies of Buddhism and leads to the compassion required to live Buddha-like.  To learn more details about Buddhism, check out The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying.  In this book, the author details buddhist philosophy regarding the transitory nature of our lives and how this wisdom can be applied to enrich your existence.  For addicts in recovery, this knowledge could be the difference between a “dry drunk” and living happy, joyous, and free.

Related Links:
http://www.purifymind.com/NoEgo.html
http://www.trustedleader.org/no_ego_g.asp?page=64

A Spiritual Program

In the The Spirituality of Imperfection the authors state that “it is only by ceasing to play God, by coming to terms with errors and shortcomings, and by accepting the inability to control every aspect of their lives that alcoholics (or any human being) can find the peace and serenity that alcohol (or other drugs, or sex, money, material possessions, power, or privelege) promise but never deliver.  It is only by turning over control of our lives to a higher power outside ourselves that we can relieve ourselves of the bondage, and burden, of the over-reliance on self.  Until we are able to develop this mindset we will be unable to move forward in our recovery. 

I am not talking about a need to become religious, because as even Bill W. said “the problem with organized religions is their claim how confoundedly right all of them are.”  What I am referring to is a need to recognize that many times we will plan and plan and plan the outcome only to have some outside influence drastically impact the results of our efforts, while at other times we will do no planning whatsoever and things will still turn out in our favor.  Sure we all still need to be a willing participant in the journey of life, but there will be many unplanned forks in the road which need to be viewed as detours providing opportunities for growth rather than roadblocks.  If we can’t accept this situation, we will continue to fight an uphill battle against a force more powerful than ourselves and eventually lose this battle by relapsing or isolating ourselves in misery.

Related Links:
A Restful Mind: Daily Meditations for Enhancing Mental Healthhttps://classes.willowcreek.org/Content/HtmlImages/Public/Documents/General/HowToHear.SpiritualPathwaysAssessment.pdf
http://www.bloggingonrecovery.com/2010/01/spiritual-growth-vs-emotional-maturity.html

Spiritual Growth vs. Emotional Maturity

Are they the same thing?  Can you have one without the other?  To be honest with you, I am not sure.  In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl states that “between stimulus and response, there is a space.  In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response.  In our response lies our growth and freedom.”  So if we extend the space between the stimulus and our response to it (think of counting to ten) are we truely becoming more emotionally mature?  If we “turn it over to God” as we are told in AA instead of becoming overwhelmed by life, is this a form of spiritual growth?
The bottom line for spiritual growth or emotional maturity is having contextual awareness of the present, and truely seeing how it fits into the broader world around us.  Because even situations that can seem meaningless on the surface can have unforeseen consequences when not treated appropriately.  As addicts, we have spent the bulk of our lives acting irrationally and ignoring the consequences of our actions.  When we grow spiritually, however, we begin to understand that our actions affect others around us.  We stop being the self-centered, self-seeking people that everyone knows. 
While we may not recognize our own spiritual growth, many people around us will see changes in our behavior.  This growth is achieved by working the steps, meditation and prayer, and developing a relationship with a higher power.  When we do these things our character will change and allow traits like patience and faith to grow within us.  When this occurs, the space between a stimulus and our response to it will grow, and we will become more emotionally mature and be on a higher spiritual path.

Related Links:
http://www.spiritual-path.com/spiritualpath.htm
http://www.spiritual.com.au/articles/aymen/spiritual_path.html
http://library.adoption.com/articles/7-steps-to-emotional-maturity.html
http://www.michaelppowers.com/path/mature.html

Cherishing the Void

When early in recovery, you may notice an emptiness in your life.  For me this was the loss of my old friends Jack Daniels, John Dewar and Johnnie Walker, and my Mexican friends Don Julio and Jose Cuervo.  This void was especially obvious around happy hour.  After getting sober many addicts will turn to new attachments like exercise, eating, smoking, drinking coffee, or even attending 12 step meetings to fill this void.  Problems can arise, however, when the new master turns out to be no less damaging to your life than the old one.

This innate feeling of incompleteness and the desire to fill it is not wrong by any means.  It is who we are as spiritual beings living this human existence.  As Gerald May states in his book Addiction and Grace “authentic spiritual wholeness, by its very nature, is open ended” and it is “our God-given right to participate in ongoing creation.”  So the spiritual void that we addicts try to fill up with attachments like alcohol and drugs will not go away once we sober up.  The challenge is to accept, learn to cherish, and become comfortable with this void-not to constantly try to fill it with short-term satisfaction.  Through patience and faith the void will lead to doors of unimagined possibilities and the freedom of just being will become meaningful.

Related Links:
http://gracefulpresence.blogspot.com/2005/09/musings-on-spaciousness.html

The Beast And His Friends

Beware the Cunning Beast!!!

Shine the Light in the Dark

Moving into the serenity achieved by an honest program of recovery requires work.  According to Webster’s Dictionary work is “a sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result.”  To achieve the changes necessary to grow spiritually and move beyond our old ways of living and gain insight into the underlying causes of our addiction requires us to shine a light into the dark spaces of our psyche.  The place where our fears, angers, lies and resentments reside. If we are unwilling to expose these burdens, even to ourselves, they will continue to hold us captive and drag us backwards into the misery of our addiction.
Oftentimes people living in their addiction have become attached to their burdens and the resulting existence they are living.  Even though they may be aware of the gap between how their life is and how they would like it to be, they have become comfortable and complacent with the way things are. In a sense, they have become conditioned by their lifestyle.  Holding on to their earthly attachments may no longer be a positive reinforcement, but letting go of them would require change.  With change comes movement out of the zone of comfort and into a new world of uncertainty and lack of control.  The fear associated with this oftentimes prevents us from taking even the first step in the journey.
There comes a point, however, when we have to ask ourselves which path requires more effort.  Do we continue on with the way things are, or do we actively pursue an honest program of recovery? If we can choose the latter, and we can be willing enough to expose whatever “dark secrets” we have been dragging with us then we can expect positive changes to occur in our lives.  To begin with, we may find that the burdens we have been afraid to share with others may not be as unique as we once thought, and by sharing them we are able to find a common union.  When we accomplish this, we take the first steps on the pathway towards the “sunlight of the spirit” where detachment from our addictions and redemption and healing are found.

Related Links:
http://www.bloggingonrecovery.com/2009/10/gift-of-despair.html
http://sunlightofthespirit.org/
http://www.addictioninfo.org/articles/11/1/Stages-of-Change-Model/Page1.html
http://www.mhsanctuary.com/healing/auto.htm

Judgement

When we’re heavy into our addiction and even in early recovery, our judgement is definitely clouded-if it exists at all.  Most often the only judgement we have is of ourselves, and this is usually the harshest.  This tends to trap us and stall any effort we are making at getting better because the shame and guilt we feel over our past makes us feel unworthy of getting better. 
Because our clouded judgement has probably spilled over to all aspects of our lives, we have probably also caused a great deal of damage to our relationships, financial well-being, and physical health.  So our sense of self-worth and wellness has probably been devastated.
The point at which the judgement of ourselves has caused us to pile on so much shame and guilt that we can’t stand it any longer is usually the point at which we decide to make some changes, but this decision to change may not necessarily even be a conscious one.  In some regards, it is probably an instinct of survival because our standard solution isn’t making our life any better, and the pain of living the way we have been becomes greater than the fear of making some changes.
To make the changes necessary requires us to let go of many of our past beliefs, including how we feel about ourselves.  It is only by separating our true self from our addicted self that we will be able to let go of the shame, guilt and judgement that we of our past behaviors.  In Drop The Rock the authors discuss the impact that negative, self-defeating feelings can have on recovery.  Once we have moved past these old ways of thinking and dropped these “rocks” we can move forward into the “sunlight of the spirit”.
Related Links:

http://alcoholismandgrace.wordpress.com/2009/11/29/healing-linked-to-forgiveness-and-humility/
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism-12-step-support/135253-drop-rock.html
http://sunlightofthespirit.org/
http://whatmesober.com/2009/11/26/remarks-on-the-way-we-view-alcohol-and-drug-use/

Non-alcoholic Cooking

Cooking and eating are two of my favorite activities during the holiday season, but many dishes are prepared with alcohol, beer, or wine.  So, being knowledgable of alternatives to alcohol as an ingredient is important if I want to preserve my sobriety. 
Many dishes are normally prepared with alcohol because it contributes a complex balance of acidity, sweetness, and savoriness to a dish’s flavor.  There is also the distinctive aroma that alcohol can provide to a dish.  So your olfactory senses are affected on top of your taste buds thereby enriching the experience.
The problem for alcoholics is that not all of the alcohol evaporates during the cooking process.  So if you accidentally (or intentionally) ingest a dish cooked with alcohol as an ingredient, you run the risk of triggering your craving mechanism and putting your sobriety in peril.  For a breakdown of how much alcohol is retained during various cooking process go to http://www.betterendings.org/Recipes/cookal.htm.
The obvious option to avoid a potential problem is to not cook, order, or eat dishes that are prepared with alcohol.  The other option is to use substitute ingredients for the alcohol.  For most dishes where alcohol is only a minor ingredient plain water can be substituted.  If alcohol is a main ingredient, then you can substitute a variety of juices, ciders, or broths.  The results may vary so it’s probably a good idea to try out various combinations of substitutes and mixtures before serving any dish with a substitute to guests.  The bottom line is that preserving your sobriety is paramount, but if cooking dishes that normally contain alcohol is unavoidable then there are options.  For a detailed list of these go to http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/alcoholsubstitutes.htm or try http://whatscookingamerica.net/alcoholsub.htm.

Prescription Drug Abuse

According to a 2006 National Drug Intelligence Center (NDIC) survey nearly 21% of the population in the U.S. reported non-medical use of prescription drugs at some point in their lifetime.  The 2009 National Presription Drug Threat Assessment states that unintentional overdose deaths resulting from prescription drugs has increased 114% from 2001 to 2005.  And according to SAMHSA, prescription drug abuse is the second most common form of recreational drug use in America second only to marijuana.  Given these statistics, it is clear that abuse of prescription drugs in the United States is a serious subject.  For our neighbors to the north in Canada, the story is much the same with accidental deaths from opiod use having doubled from 1991 to 2004.
For many people, the stigma of prescription drug abuse is negligible when compared to illicit drug abuse.  After all, the substance of abuse was prescribed by a doctor and purchased in a pharmacy.  It’s not like the addict was buying heroin, cocaine, or some other street drug from a dealer.  So where’s the problem?  This type of mentality is contributing to the problem, prevents treatment of the abuse, and if perpetuated can have drastic results.
The diversion of prescription drugs from their intended use has increased drastically from 2003 to 2007.  According to the 2009 threat assessment, the diversion of opioid pain relievers has increased the most during this time period: hydrocodone (vicodin) 118%, morphine 111%, and methadone 109%.  Other prescription drugs commonly diverted for abuse include Oxycontin which has a street name “80” or “Hillbilly heroin”, Ritalin (Ritz or Vitamin R), and Xanax (zanies).
The diversion of these drugs occurs through various forms.  56.5% of abusers reported that they received the drugs from a friend or relative for free, and 81% of these people reported that the drugs were originally obtained from a doctor through a prescription.  Other ways that prescription drugs are obtained for illicit use include theft from a family member or friend (5.2%), Internet purchases (0.5%), and purchase from a dealer (4.1%).  Another common practice amongst addicts to obtain prescription drugs is “doctor shopping.”  This is the practice of visiting several doctors for the same “ailment” to receive multiple valid prescriptions. 
Amongst teens, the practice of “pharming” can have drastic results when they grab a handful of prescription pills out of a bowl and ingest some or all of them.
To learn more about prescription drug abuse and how to help yourself or someone you love recovery from the damage of prescription drug abuse Click Here!

Related Links:
http://www.whitehousedrugpolicy.gov/drugfact/prescrptn_drgs/rx_ff.html
http://alcoholism.about.com/b/2009/12/10/deaths-related-to-pain-pills-double.htm?nl=1
http://monitoringthefuture.org/
http://ncadi.samhsa.gov/govpubs/prevalert/v6/4.aspx